I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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