I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize