You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
