my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
