theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
