so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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