i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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