yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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