ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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