I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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