Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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