dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
