you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
