508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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