so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
