just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
either way he was missing a nipple.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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