Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
