I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
