Me. At least after what I've been through.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
