i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
