Don't you send me to vm
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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