worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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