Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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