Well douche your snatch and let's go!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
