you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
3pm strippers are depressing
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
