I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
