just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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