someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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