you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
