Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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