Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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