lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
