remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
