I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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