found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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