shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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