I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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