I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
