The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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