I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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