question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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