thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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