He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
