Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
