i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
