so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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