Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
