so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I would ride that face into the sunset
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