so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i believe in u and ur pee
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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