My Higher Power is John Stamos
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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