i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
