alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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