is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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