I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize