i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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