Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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