We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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