just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
