I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Are we still banned from the library?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
