***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
