I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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