it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
